Thursday, May 26, 2011

Thursday 13 - Worries About Grad School

Ok, so this is not the most encouraging or exciting list but I'm killing two birds with one stone here. As part of therapy homework I am supposed to make a list of the things that I'm worried/fearful about concerning grad school. I'm sure there are many more than 13. I'm moving from south Texas to Boston...that's a colossal fear in and of itself.

1. Money - of course that's the big one. Full cost of tuition and housing for one year at Simmons is 44,000. Stafford loans available to me? 20,500 (actually the max amount so it could be worse) I am hyperventilating.

2. Transportation - My car is old. Its the only car I've ever had and although it made it from NJ to South TX last year I do not think it will make it from South TX to MA this year. I'm thinking that the money to upkeep it plus insurance is not worth it if I'm living on campus in the middle of a city. Yet I hate to be without a car.

3. Job/Time - I'm going to have to have a job, perhaps even full time. How the heck am I going to manage that? Can I find a job that pays enough? How long will my unemployment last me before its crucial to find a job? If it's not within walking distance I have to add the cost of the subway or buses. I have to do an internship for the masters program...will I have enough time?

4. Mental Health - I have to start all over again with a new therapist. This will be number 5 in 3 years I think...I need to stop moving. And being all alone in a new place is never good for a sane person, let alone me. Lol I need to find a psychiatrist too...well there's probably one on the school health staff

5. Co-ed Bathrooms - Ok, sounds kind of trivial but I didn't live on campus for undergrad so I have no experience with communal bathrooms/showers to begin with lol. The fact that the grad school apartments have co-ed bathrooms kind of freaks me out. Are there urinals in co-ed bathrooms? Lol. I guess that doesnt really bother me, it's the thought of some guy jumping in my shower lol

6. Weather - I spent 22 years in NJ and only one in TX so I'm going with colder weather. However I really don't like the idea of having to walk in snow...

7. Summer/Vacation Housing - If I manage to get a job I will want to stay in Boston during the summer and breaks but I'm in campus housing...have to figure that one out.

8. Moving - If I'm not taking my car that means I'm going to have to be very picky about what I take since I'll have to fill suitcases a/o ship things. I don't really want to moved back down here so I don't like the thought of leaving all my books because either 1. I'll never get them back or 2. I'll feel compelled to take the easy route and move back down here

9. Future Housing - I'm doing on campus for now but once I know the area and can find someone to room with I'd rather have an apartment. Furniture? Ugh I got rid of it when I moved from NJ to TX since I moved in with my parents. I have to re-buy everything

10. Classes - I'm doing a dual degree. The history part I'm fine with. The MLS part...I really have no idea what to expect....

11. Technology - I'm getting a new phone for my birthday so that should be fine and I can live with the camera on a smart phone since I'm no longer really doing much photography. But my laptop situation worries me. Granted I'll be at a school with a computer lab but for those late night laptop that is currently working is about 6 years old and missing half its keys. It has no battery and has a short in its cord. I don't think its going to last much longer. I have a newer laptop but something fried in it a few months ago and I have yet to get it fixed and I don't want to spend the money really since the other one is fine for now.

12.Food - I hope the school has good vegetarian options...

13. Worth - Please let me get a job with these degrees!

Thursday Thirteen


tcmatteson said...

Hey, take a deep breath, you're going to be ok :) Change is always a scary thing, but just take it one step at a time. The money thing will work itself out. Many colleges are very helpful when it comes to getting tuition money, so go and talk with the finance office and they should be able give you ideas on how to come up with loans, grants, and scholarships! It may actually be beneficial for you to give up your car if it's going to putz out on you. What you save in upkeep, gas, and insurance should be more than enough to pay for public transportation :) Try seeing if your campus hires students for jobs. My campus did, though at minimum wage. I had friends working at the library, the campus post, in the dorms as dorm guards, at the cafeteria, etc., etc. And usually those jobs are great with working on everyone's schedules (I worked at the post for a couple hours in the morning and a couple hours in the evening because I had classes in the mid-morning to afternoon time). I can't really help you on the finding a new psychiatrist, but dorm living is actually a lot of fun. I would suggest taping up some of the things you find interesting on your door and posting up a dry-erase message board. People in dorms are usually very friendly (sometimes nosy) and will talk with you if you have similar interests. I loved anime and ended up finding my best friend all throughout college on the first day because I plastered anime pictures and a quote up on my door. Guess what- she had done the same thing! Our group of friends grew rather quickly from there! Co-ed bathrooms- Unless the guy is really drunk, I would assume that everyone would be of a bit more mature age for graduate level studies, so I would highly doubt anyone would jump in the shower with you just to freak you out, hehe! The weather is something you can't control and everyone suffers through it, too! Besides, can you say "snow days"?! LOL! As for housing during the summer, you could probably stay on campus if you are working on campus or taking a class. I ended up spending two of my summers on campus because I needed the time to take the classes. As for the packing for moving- pack up your essentials for living in the dorms and some fun stuff. That's what you will take with you right now. Pack everything else in ship-able boxes in order of what you would like to have sent to you first. Every time you're able to save up enough money for shipping, have your parents send you a box. Every time you get the chance to visit your parents, take a box back with you! Eventually you'll have all your stuff out in MA with you ^_^ Future housing- you'll have to do some math on this one and figure out if it would be cheaper to stay on campus with furniture already there for you, get an apartment and at least get a mattress and pots and pans for cooking then start building up your furniture from there, renting a completely furbished apartment, or get roommates to help split the cost! Classes are classes. Some are boring and some are fun, some are hard and some are easy. Just study hard and do your best! If you're faltering in one, you can always seek out a tutor- there is absolutely no shame in that. Technology- do what you can with what you have and utilize the resources the college has open to you (you are paying for those resources!). Your laptop situation will get itself resolved because you are resourceful and creative and you're going into a new world where there will be lots of people to help you. May I suggest trying to make friends with someone in the Computer Science department? They may be able to figure out what's wrong with your new laptop :) As for the food- it's more than likely going to suck unless you're really really lucky. You'll learn quickly what's good and what's not so good in the food line- you can also stash some fruit in your bag for munching on later, but shh! don't tell anyone ^_~

tcmatteson said...

(I wrote too much for one post, oops!)
Also, I know you're going to have a rather busy and hectic schedule but you need to make sure you take some time for yourself and do things that you like/want to do. Don't go burning yourself out doing only the things you "have" to do, sometimes those things can wait for an hour or so. If you are passionate about what you're learning, you'll be able to find a job using what you learned in school. But, do remember to have fun and surround yourself with good friends to help lighten your day! Good luck and be safe, hun ^_^

Cheryl said...

Sounds like you are thinking to far ahead. One step at a time and breathe... These things have a way of working out.
What about taking your car and then selling it once you get there? I have a friend in Boston who uses her car very infrequently. Don't believe you need one for much.
Take care. Hang in there. Baby steps. It will work out one way or the other.

I am Harriet said...

Some worries seem to never go away.

Enjoy your Thursday!

rlavalette said...

All will be well. The Universe unfolds as it should. Relax.

Joyce said...

I'm sure things will work out...take it one day at a time, one worry at a time. Where in NJ are you from? I'm there's my third time living in the state, north and south : ) Best of luck as you make your move-change is always hard but in a few months most of these worries will be behind you. Take care!

Visiting from Thursday Thirteen today~

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